Confiding in Grace: December 2011

Before I begin, I know it's been long. I feel like I'm writing in my journal I promise myself to keep up with and end up starting each post like this "I wish I wrote in here more." I'm serious. Here it is for proof…

I know it's a bad quality photo but I did it on purpose because as much as I love you, I like to keep what I write in this journal private. But, back to what I was saying. It's been a while. To me, it hasn't felt like much because oh lord have I been through a lot.

I'm not a complainer, at least publicly. But I had to sit down one day and really pray to God for an answer as to why I've had the hardest semester of my life. Is it okay I say "semester;" I still say college terms. For those of you not in college - I've had the hardest four months of my life.

1. 2 surgeries: one was an emergency because of a complication and the other was planned and formed complications after. Funny how that worked out.
2. long distance relationship where I found out it will be another four months this coming spring semester. Need I say more?
3. first semester of graduate school studying something I've never studied before.
4. starting a new job at the same time as school.
5. insomnia. I still don't know why I have this. It just decided to join me during these months.

Honestly, there were times I didn't know what to do with myself. I just sat at my computer and wrote out what I felt and that seemed to work. Other than that, praying worked. It's amazing the little epiphanies that come into your head while your praying. This is what I started thinking after I put my hands together, looked up at the sky, and asked "why?"

1. I'm glad this happened when I'm not married and with children.
2. The nights I couldn't sleep I got so much work done.
3. Searching for ways to relax, I learned a lot of new hobbies I'm pretty good at.
4. I grew close to my family because this whole time I've been living at home, which is amazing.
5. It honestly could be so much worse.

So, there they are! 5 reasons my semester was horrible, but 5 reasons it was worth it.

Recently, instead of focusing on what has happened, I'm using it to catapult me into planning for 2012. I feel it'll be a good year people! Planning basically involves calendars, goal setting, and reading. It is so much fun. Do I sound nerdy? Oh well.

One thing I'm doing is recording things I love right now that way I can read back at the end of next year and either make fun or appreciate those things.

Here are my top 10 things right now….

1. My new phone

2. real simple magazine

3. long dangly necklaces

4. the FSU seminoles. I'm thinking about my first credit card bit purchase being a boosters membership and 2 season tickets. Yea, this list is no joke.